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As children get older, the expectations parents have of them increase because they believe that their children will have the ability to eat and dress themselves, tidy up their room, etc. But many times it happens that children do not see these habits necessary and it is the beginning of conflicts ...
That is why it is so important to learn to negotiate with them and, incidentally, teach them to negotiate. We tell you how.
Parents must be patient with little ones and try to negotiate, since the capacity that children have to put themselves in the place of the other and analyze is very limited at the moment in which these conflicts begin.
Conflict resolution will be very important for the coexistence and socialization of children. Negotiation will be key for them to learn to resolve conflicts in a diplomatic way and that they resort as little as possible to crying, tantrums or aggression to solve their problems both with adults and with other children.
In addition, negotiating allows children to know that they are being listened to, that their ideas are valuable and that they are taken into account. Children come to understand that both parties to the conflict can be satisfied with the solution taken
To get them to learn to negotiate we must know that:
1. You can only learn to negotiate by negotiating. Conflict situations must arise so that children can learn to handle them. Of course, we must try to make them happen in the best possible context, when the child is rested and calm. Therefore, it is not necessary to avoid conflict situations, but to take care of them so that they occur in the best of contexts and thus serve as a model for learning
2. You have to stand firm before the rules and allow children to resolve their own conflicts. That they learn that tolerating frustration is the foundation of social relationships.
3. Hear. It is necessary to take time to listen and evaluate the request or desire of the child, without judging or ruling out.
It is not bad that your children learn to negotiate and do not accept a NO for an answer the first time.
4. Offer alternatives. You can help the child to think of other ways to get what he wants or to find other solutions to his approach.
5. Teach to ask. Children must be clear that crying and screaming will not achieve their goal. We must teach them that they can use creativity or argumentation to get us to their ground.
6. The child is free to ask and adults will listen, however, you have to learn that NOT everything you want you can get, at least in the way and when you ask for it.
7. It is important to teach them that they have to take into account the feelings and points of view of others.
Is everything negotiated? Negotiating children acquire tools to communicate and resolve many conflicts in a satisfactory way, but not everything can be negotiated. The time to get up, go to school, study are examples of non-negotiable situations.
Although the important thing is that each family decides which ones can be negotiated. It will be the parents who decide according to the criteria they consider and the children will have to be very clear about what is negotiable and what is not.
There should be no discrepancies between the parents. That is, there is a father who negotiates everything and a mother who does not negotiate anything or gives in or vice versa.
You can read more articles similar to How to teach children to negotiate, in the On-site Learning category.